Putting It Together

I just lost a job.

It's not really the kind of job I go looking for anymore... It was a photography job. Thanks to two different blogs and a willingness to impart, in person, almost all of the details regarding my personal life, just about everyone out there knows that I have been in the process of leaving behind my twenty eight years in photography for a new career as a fitness trainer. To that end, I have been focusing, as of late, on my studies with the National Academy of Sports Medicine. Almost three decades behind the camera doesn't go quietly into that good night, though; and when a friend or a face comes before saying (either literally or figuratively) "take my picture" -- well, I'm going to do it.

And when it happens as a money making possibility, I'm going to consider it. After all, I have tuition to pay...

This was more than just monetary potential though. It was an opportunity to see some of my family, long since absent from my view. See, my friend Aaron (friend is one way of putting it - family is another) lives in Florida with his wife and two daughters. The last time we had the time and the money to see them was so many years ago that I doubt the kids would recognize me and Pat - and vice versa. We love these people very much and wish for opportunites to fly down for a visit - we wish for this on a regular basis. So when Aaron called me to tell me that he had been made creative director of a talent agency and they were looking for a photographer to come in for a three day weekend to shoot 18 to 20 of their talent, would I do it, I said yes. He and I talked about what it would take, how much I'd charge, when it would happen... all the details, you know. Before hanging up, he asked me to please send some samples to their business director. Of course. Everyone should see samples before they hire.

I wrote a nice, friendly but official email, discussing my work and my philosophies and my experience as a photographer of headshots and celebrities. When it came time to attach photos I opened my files and began sorting through my collection.

It's a wonderful and magical thing to be an artist. The writer has their stories, the painter has the paintings. Sculptors, actors, singers, hair stylists... every artist has their creation and every artist has a relationship with their artwork. I feel like I have been lucky because I have had (and do have) relationships with my photos; AND I have had (and do have) relationships with the people in the photos. It's a very intimate thing, to get in front of the camera and have someone take this moment in time from you and create something with it. It's an intimate relationship between the photographer and the model and one I have treasured for a long time. I love these people for sharing that intimacy, that trust with me and I love the artwork that it leaves behind. I show that artwork in portfolios, books, online photo albums- and the photos become like a ring you wear. I'm aware of them, I know them, yet I don't actively think about them.

When sitting down to choose the photos that I would send to this lady, Linda, down in Florida, though, I found myself being given a chance to reconsider my work of the last almost three decades. I looked at some of the photos that are newer, some of the pictures I don't see or think of every day, some of the artwork I had forgotten in order to favour other pieces.

What a great ride it was!
I chose pics of my family; ones that everyone sees every time my name and artwork are mentioned in the same sentence. I sent the photo of Jennifer Houston with the window behind her and the sun in her hair. I included the photo of Judi Dench laughing. I attached the picture of Donna Murphy looking up at the sky. Of course, I featured the pictures of Pat in front of the radiator and the photo of Brady against the gated fence.




There were, though, all these other images that came flooding into my vision, exciting me and enthralling me. That photo of Lindsay with her green eyes, wearing the green dress, in front of the green drop really captured my attention. The new headshots of Happy and Brad, she on the sofa and he before the kitchen door, were ripe with personality. That shot of Trevin in his GAP sweatshirt had to be included; and so did the photo of Jamie with Spencer, the glass of milk and the apple pie, even though it isn't a headshot.

While I was looking through my collection, choosing what I considered to be some of my best works, I marveled, yes I did (!) at the legacy I leave behind, as I move into the health and fitness field. I grew happy as I considered the fact that, only last week, I was doing photos of my old friend, Hunter, just for fun and I HAD fun! I would be able to continue creating art, all the while, working as a body sculptor for those for whom health and fitness is a goal and a pleasure. It was a truly great journey for me, though I found myself more than a little peeved that I had neglected to include some of my best artwork of Tom and AJ.

I was so excited that I forwarded the email I sent Linda to some of my family so they could see the pics I chose. Marci standing in the tree, Tommy hanging onto the fence, Deborah Cox in the arm chair, Spanks in the blue sweater that offsets his blue eyes. Sweet stuff, man!

Yesterday I got the email that said I wouldn't be needed. That is, not unless I could shoot the photos digitally.

Isn't there a song called Video Killed the Radio Star? I think so but I'm not sure and I don't feel like googling it right now. I know how that feels. It's been some time since I started saying that digital photography killed my career. I have nothing against technology, nothing against digital photography. I have a digital camera. It's great for Ebay and Manhunt and snapshots of loved ones to email or post on Facebook. It isn't great for my artwork and that is my bottom line. At a photo shoot with Karen Mason recently, the hair and makeup artists got all over me, demanding to know why I was still working on film and why I refused to go digital. I explained my reasoning but stopped when one of them challenged me "Do you believe in technology or evolution?" His fight with me was preventing my artwork with Missy Mason (one of my favourite people and favourite photographic subjects).

I do not create artwork with a digital camera for the same reason I still listen to record albums. I prefer the old fashioned way. I like the look and feel of film. I like the crackle when the needle hits the vinyl. Film looks better. Vinyl sounds better. Know what? I still read books, too.

I'm not some militant digital camera hater. I'll tell you a secret. This photo of Trevin was done on a digital camera. It's the only one in this collection that is. The rest are all scans of film photos. See? I can do it. I choose not to. I am an expert on shooting on film. My clients deserve an expert.












I was bummed to lose that job. I would have treasured a chance to hang out with my family down in Florida for a few days. Now I'll have to make the money to fly down for a holiday. That's aight.

I would have loved the money I could have made doing that gig. It's no big deal. Money is a commodity that can always be gotten.

Here's the other thing. I just booked a new fitness training client.

Oh, yeah.

My new career is starting and it needs me. So do Josh (who left me to go out west to do a play but when he comes back, his training will start up again) and Anita and Steve. Their health and fitness regimen is an important task and it's a good job - the first of many, I can tell.












Cosmically speaking, though; the chance to observe my artwork and the lovelies who allowed me into their gardens so that we could participate in the creation of that artwork was a good enough reason for the adventure of that possible gig in Florida.

As I looked at the photos I considered the best - right up to this latest and most wonderful pic of Hunter - I couldn't help but think it. So I wrote it down. I wrote it in the email I sent my loved ones, the email that showed the photos I sent to Linda at the agency in Florida. The email was all those photos and some words. Some of those words were..

GodDAMMIT, I was good.